Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Asshole CoWorkers

The head receptionist at work said to another stylist that I work with that she wish's I would either go home or go to the Morgue.  I was furious when the stylist told me.  I thought I could trust that woman with personal stuff.  I was even told that if I had something bothering me that I would need to tell her so she wouldnt be left in the blue.  Then she goes and says that about me.  What a FuckHead!!!!  Some people just have 2 faces and you cant trust them.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Living with Vulvodynia: Living with Chronic Nerve Pain

Living with Vulvodynia: Living with Chronic Nerve Pain: "I am 26 years old and I have been living with Chronic Nerve pain in my Vulva for the past 7 1/2 years of my life. About 3 years ago it..."

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Back to Work

I went back to work yesterday.  I would say for most of the time I was at work it was probably a level 3 or 4 pain.  I start at 2pm and by around 530pm I was feeling a bit worst probably level 8 so I went to the bathroom and did my cold water rinse with my bottle and held my vulva open and used my china fan to air dry it.  After about 5 min of that I felt a bit better.  Then I went back down stairs and was a little better back to my regular level of pain for the rest of the night. 

When I got home and showered and went to bed I noticed my pain was acting up, it felt like someone had poured listerine over my vulva.  So I fanned it once again with my fan.  It was stubborn but eventually it calmed down and I went to sleep. 

Monday, December 20, 2010

Wearing Pants

I went grocery shopping wearing underwear and pants.  I figured I would try since Im on another med to help with the pain.  I felt the same feeling that I usually feel when walking with pants on.  I feel the FIRE when I walk.  It only intensifies during the time Im walking around the store.  By the time I was at the cashier I couldnt wait to get home and take my pants off and sigh with releif.  If its not the fire I feel when walking its the rawness. 

I have a 2pm appt to see my physical therapist today.  Im sure she'll love to hear about my horrible pain Thursday after my last appt and how the pain fucked up my whole weekend.   I couldnt work.  I left work after only being there for 2hrs on Thursday.  (Like I said in an earlier post I felt like someone was holind a blow drier to my vulva).  So the doc wrote me a note on Friday to be out for the weekend.  I go back to work on Tuesday.  I hope we're busy and that I make decent money to make up for the time I was out.  This really sucks.  Standing moving around seems to trigger more pain.  Im trying to live my life as best as I can with this problem.....but it gets frusterating. 


This past weekend I decided to sign in to my health insurance website and change my primary care doctor to another doctor in that same office.  Friday when I went for my emergency walk in appt I saw a doctor that I have seen in the past when my doctor wasnt there.  I really like the way he communicates with me and he shows he is concerned and cares more so than my primary doc (in the same office).  My primary is not as willing to prescribe me medicine for my nerve pain disorder (vulvodynia).  He tells me to take over the counter stuff (weak stuff) that does not work.  So this weekend I went on my health insurance site and looked this other doctor up and it said that he is accepting new patients.  So I changed it on the website.  This morning I called my doctors office to make sure they knew of this change and they told me that this doctor is not accepting new patients and has not been for the past few months.  They said he's backed up for 6months.  I was very frusterated that the website said different and told them they need to communicate with the insurance companys whether or not a doctor is accepting new patients.  I told them that Ive seen him a few times and I really like him better.  They told me that there are other physicians like (nurse practitioners) that I could switch to.  I didnt want any of them because I have had them in the past and I didnt care for their approach.  This is very frusterating.  I remember when I spoke to this other doctor on Friday he told me that either him or my doctor will handle my medical situation.  He also said that he would call me to find out how Im feeling today.  My primary NEVER once said that to me.  SO Im just frusterated.  The office person said they would try to talk to this other doctor but they think I will have to stick with my old doctor.  So IDK....I wish it would be easy to find a good CARING doctor in my area its hard.  I dont know many people hear since I have only lived hear in the Cape for 2 1/2 years.  I wish I knew of someone for certain that would be CARING and WILLING to help me in any way possible and not hesitate to prescribe me meds.  If I knew of someone hear that is accepting new patients I would be very happy to switch to them.  I guess for now Im just going to have to stick with my OLD doctor. 

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Living with Chronic Nerve Pain

I am 26 years old and I have been living with Chronic Nerve pain in my Vulva for the past 7 1/2 years of my life.  About 3 years ago it started to become even more chronic. I remember when it first started I was about 18 1/2 and it was after the first time I had sex.  I remember having a scabies like itch that lasted for weeks and months. I remember it feeling like scabies and I was seriously scared and wondered if I has an STD.  I went to see my primary doctor back then but all he said was that it was probably a yeast infection and didnt think it was necessary to do a yeast culture to prove it.  He instead prescribed a messy anti fungal cream to use daily, and he told me to eat lots of yogurt. 

So of course I trusted him..... what was I supposed to think???  I did as he instructed even though I hated yogurt.  I used the cream with little releif.  As soon as it got wiped off the itch would return and sometimes pinching.  Years passed and the pinching still continued everyday, and the itch.  There would be periods in which I would  be very unconfortable and there would be period of time in which it would almost go away for good.  For years I thought I was suffereing with chronic yeast infections without any proof.  Stupid me.  For years my mother told me to tell my doc I needed a referral to see an actualy GYN in Boston.  I was young and scared and nervous and shy about it.  I didnt want some stranger looking at and touching my Vulva.  So for years I delt with the discomfort and pain....

About 4 years ago I met my boyfriend who is native of cape cod, and about 2 12 years ago I moved hear to start my life with him, and start my career as a hairstylist.  When I met him my pain wasnt nearly as bad as it is now.  It was more of a discomfort back then.  The past 2 1/2 years its escalated....

About 2 years ago almost I went to see a GYN hear on the Cape and he told me to a cream called Betamethazone Valerate which actually thins your skin out.  He said I had vulvar distrofy.  The cream helped the chronic itch I had go away everytime I would use it.  I used a very small amout sparingly.  It did the trick for the longest time and I thought it was the solution to the problem.  Recently about 2 months ago in October I started to have an intensifying burning in my Vulva with or without the cream.  That when I decided to stop with it since I didnt have any more itch.  The burning would get so bad IT WOULD FEEL LIKE I WAS PUTTING A BLOW DRIER TO ME VULVA.  I wasnt able to use the bathroom normally.  Everytime I wipe it reacts with FIRE.  Everytime I start for longer than 30min it reacts with FIRE.  The only time Im comfortable is when I sit with my legs open and wear no underpants or pants, only long skirts. 

I went to see my Primary in October (not the same one from long ago) and he finally diagnosed me with VULVODYNIA.  He never treated anyone for it so he told me to find someone and he would refer me.  So I found someone in Boston and went to see her.  She did 3 tests....1 was a PAP, 1 was a yeast culture, and the other was a SKIN BIOPSY.  1 week later the tests all came back NEGATIVE.  She had suspected YEAST like the MANY DOCTORS I had seen before.  Im so glad she was WRONG.  I felt like I wanted to strangle someone if I heard that diagnosis again.  So she prescribed me Gabapentine (pills for nerve pain/seizures) Ive been taking those for the past 2 weeks.

She told me that Physical Therapy helps some people with this problem...so I figured I would try it.  This past week was my first week.  Thursday was my second appt.  I was in so much pain after.  I went to work a few hrs later and I went home after only 2 hrs of work because the pain was level 10.  I couldnt take it and I was in HELL.  Friday I went for an emergency walk in appt to my primarys office.  I saw my doc and he prescribed me some other pills to take along with the Gabapentine.  I got a note because I was supposed to work this weekend.  So hear I am at home praying...hoping these pills will give me some releif......This is the Hell I have been going through.